विवाह पंचमी कथा और पूजा विधि

King Janaka of Mithila was known for dharma and wisdom. It is told that once, as he was ploughing a field for a sacrifice, the point of the plough struck a casket and in it he found a tiny girl. The ploughshare is called sita in Sanskrit, and so the child was named Sita. Janaka and his queen raised her as their own daughter, and she is also known as Janaki, Vaidehi and Maithili. The palace of Janakpur rang with her childhood.

In Janaka's palace lay a very heavy bow, which tradition calls the bow of Lord Shiva. Many men together could not shift it, and it had a place of its own for worship. The story goes that as a child Sita, in play, moved the bow aside and cleaned the ground beneath it. Janaka was astonished. In his heart he made a vow: the hero who could lift this bow and string it would be the one to whom he would give his daughter in marriage.

When Sita grew up, Janaka announced a swayamvar. Kings and princes came to Janakpur from far and wide. The assembly was set, the bow was brought to its centre, and one hero after another stepped forward. Some could not even stir it, from one it slipped out of the hands, and a few went back in shame. Janaka grew sad, and words of despair escaped him: had the earth been emptied of heroes?

At that moment the sage Vishwamitra was in the assembly with two young princes. They were Ram and Lakshman, sons of King Dasharatha of Ayodhya, whom Vishwamitra had brought to guard his sacrifice and had led onward to Janakpur. Before this, in Janaka's garden, Ram and Sita had seen each other, and respect and love had stirred in both; folk tellings sing this garden scene with great tenderness.

With his guru's leave Ram rose quietly and went to the bow. He lifted it with ease, and as he bent it to string it with force, the bow broke in the middle. The whole assembly rang with the sound. Janaka's worry was gone, and Sita placed the garland of victory around Ram's neck. A wave of joy ran through the hall, and the city broke into songs of celebration.

Janaka at once sent messengers to Ayodhya with the news for King Dasharatha. Dasharatha came to Janakpur with his family, his ministers and a great baraat. There the two kings and their family priests recalled the lineages of both houses, and an auspicious hour was fixed for the wedding. Janaka's younger brother also had daughters, and the king proposed that the four young daughters of his house be married to the four princes. So Sita was married to Ram, Urmila to Lakshman, Mandavi to Bharat and Shrutakirti to Shatrughna, in one mandap.

Celebrations went on in Janakpur for many days. The women of the city sang mangal songs, the baraat was welcomed, and teasing songs were sung as well. In the Mithila tradition, to this day wedding songs tease Ram as a son-in-law, and the women of Janakpur lovingly scold the baraatis. At the farewell Janaka advised his daughter with great affection, and Sita left for Ayodhya with her husband.

The life that followed was hard for Ram and Sita: exile, separation and trial. Even so, in the faith of the people their wedding is the sign of an ideal marriage, of respect, fidelity and sacrifice for each other. That is why on Vivah Panchami people worship the couple who kept their promise to walk together.

Day and time: Vivah Panchami falls on Margashirsha Shukla Panchami, and for the puja the aparahna part of the day is taken. Check this year's tithi and time in the panchang box at the top of this page.

Things needed: an image, picture or Ram Darbar of Ram and Sita; a chauki and a red or yellow cloth; yellow and red flowers and a garland; roli, sandal, akshat, turmeric; incense and a ghee lamp; tulsi leaves; panchamrit; seasonal fruit and sweets; wedding finery, a red chunari, bindi, bangles and sindoor for Sita, and yellow cloth and mauli thread for Ram.

Decoration: dress the courtyard or the place of worship like a wedding mandap. Set banana leaves or mango leaves, flowers and rangoli around the chauki. Place the image of Ram and Sita on the chauki facing east or north. Set up a kalash with a coconut and mango leaves on it.

Beginning: bathe in the morning, put on clean clothes, and with water and akshat in the hand make the sankalp that you are celebrating the wedding of Shri Ram and Janaki with devotion. First remember Ganesha. Then bathe Ram and Sita with water, panchamrit and Ganga water and dress them in clean cloth. Offer the chunari, bindi, bangles and sindoor to Sita; dress Ram in yellow cloth with a sandal mark and a garland.

The wedding: after the puja, tie the garments of the two together with mauli as the gathbandhan. If it can be done, the elders of the family may offer Sita to Ram with the feeling of kanyadaan. The women of the house sing mangal songs and wedding songs. In many homes symbolic pheras are made with a priest on Vivah Panchami, and in many temples a baraat goes out.

Mantra and japa: chant 'Om Shri Sitaramabhyam Namah' and 'Shri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram'. Tulsi leaves are offered to Ram, and the bhog is seasonal fruit, panchamrit and sweets.

What to read: on this day the most common reading in the tradition is the wedding of Sita and Ram in the Bal Kand of the Ramcharitmanas, read or heard. If the whole passage is hard to read, listen to a retelling of it, or read the story on this page. You may also read the Ram Chalisa and sing the aarti of Ram.

Aarti and close: at the end do the aarti of Ram and Sita, offer the bhog, and share the prasad with everyone. Those who keep the fast live on fruit during the day and take grain in the evening after the puja. After the puja bow to your elders, and let couples resolve to honour one another.

One thing is worth knowing: many families, especially in Mithila and the regions around it, do not hold the wedding of their own daughter or son on this day. The feeling has come down among the people that Sita, after her marriage, had a hard life of exile, separation and trial, and they do not want their child's wedding to fall on the same tithi on which so hard a story began.

This is not a rule for everyone. In many homes and regions the day is held auspicious for weddings and weddings are held on it, and the muhurta of Vivah Panchami is counted as auspicious in the panchang. Families that have this tradition keep it with devotion; those that do not, do not. So decide by your family's custom and your own pandit's advice. There is no need to frighten anyone in this matter, nor to think any family's custom lesser.

By tradition, worshipping Ram and Sita on Vivah Panchami keeps love, understanding and propriety in married life, and for those whose marriage is obstructed or delayed the puja is given as a remedy. It is better taken not as a guarantee, but as a chance to look at one's own relationships while sitting before an ideal.

The day is for all who want to give faith, patience and mutual respect a place in their relationships, whether they are married, are to be married, or find marriage still far off.